Lions with a touch of cynicism.

I, admittedly, do not blog. I know this disappoints some people. I am lazy. And busy. And I find myself tiresome when I do write. However, this week I am going for a photo story. Let us consider it a compromise.

In order to help remember that South Africa is not a just a place to go to have your research plan fall apart, lose touch with friends from home and get your passport stolen, I got out this weekend. We went to the Lion and Rhino Nature Reserve just outside Johannesburg. It was phenomenal.

1. "Dumb Human." This photo is blurry, but included here because this is the cheetah I raced. I actually won. This is because the cheetah was smart and stubborn as cats tend to be and simply chose not to chase the blue teddy bear which was being pulled on a string in 32 degree weather. I, on the other hand, apparently could wear a collar and be trained to sit. My defense: it WAS a really cute teddy bear.

2. "Don't f' with me. I have a snake." Evidence that having huge snake around your neck will always make you look badass and like you could kill someone. Even if you are making out with said snake. Seeing this photo makes me reconsider my lack of a skull tattoo on that right bicep.

3. "Gurltalk." This white lion is my new best friend. As you can see, she and I had a heart to heart and discussed a range of topics including the US joining SA in the ranks of leaders who've won the Peace Prize, Impala versus Kudoo meat, and men of all nations who aren't good enough for us anyway.

4."A good spoon." Is there anything more to say?

5. "Ouch. I have nerves there." This tiger was playful. And had huge claws. They felt un-good in my skin. But I couldn't resist.

6. "Adopting This One." In the end, I opted not to bring her home. She was 2 months old. Its only a matter of months before she would be able to give Socrates a run for his money. And I can't do that to Soc's ego.

I should add that I almost got eaten by a lion. Seriously. Ok. At least bitten. Other highlights included: Petting a rhino; Watching the cheetahs in the reserve get fed- man do they jump high; Falling down a hill; Teaching my Brazilians English words such as "Mane," "calling shotgun," and "charge"- as in "Keep driving. That rhino looks like he might 'charge' the car;" The hippo walk; Hearing wild dogs 'laugh'; Having a full grown male lion feet from my car; And drinking almost a liter of orange Fanta. The day was actually quite amazing. I needed it badly.

Getting mugged and attacked by a lion... in the span of one week... now THAT is South Africa.